• Kristi = Christ
• himmel = heaven
• färd/fart = journey/flight/voyage
• dag = day

No work! I have nothing special planned other than to visualize Jesus being catapulted into the heavens.

It’s been quiet on this blog as of late, but my Swedeheart and I have been up to our eyeballs busy and have barely had a chance to breathe. On Saturday, we participated in GöteborgsVarvet, the largest half marathon in the world. A total of 77,825 were registered of which it is exciting that we were part of such a large group.

This Spring’s weather has been absolutely depressing — temps in the mid 40s, rain, clouds, wind. Nothing like last year. However, in protest to the forecast, the sun came out about an hour before our group started and kept on shining. With 20+ weeks of training behind us, the Swedeheart and I (02:18) both survived and, crazily enough, are considering next year already.

For you runners out there, consider a destination run by taking part in this annual event to visit Sweden! You get to cross Gothenburg’s two large bridges and even see a good part of town. I will warn you though. Swedes are HORRIBLE spectators. Nearly no one cheered and clapped on the entire route. Maybe a few people here and there. You can count on a handful of kids holding our their hands for high fives (but watch out for that ornery boy who spits on his hand at the last second, to which I barely avoided). But good gracious! C’mon you boring bunch of people!

Unlike in the U.S. you wouldn’t think to write your name on your arm or leg, or to spell it out with tape on the back of your shirt, because no stranger will shout out your name. And you won’t see many running in silly costumes, although there were a few guys who smoked and drank beer for part of the time. The variety of bands and musicians along the way are what put a smile on my face, so hats off to them for rocketing us to the finish line!

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1. Midsommar Part 3: Late Nights
2. Midsommar Part 2: Snaps and Song

If you don’t know this important bit about Swedes, you will immediately think they are cold-shouldered. This is hard to get over, because as an immigrant you badly want to be liked and build a new social circle to “replace” the safety net of close and dear friends you left behind.

I have become very adept at being a loner in large group situations.  As I’ve said before, it’s easy to have a one-on-one conversation, especially with those Swedes who are god forbid a bit un-Swedish and are outgoing toward strangers. But otherwise, I’m good at sitting alone because the last thing I want to do is sit and work my brain overtime to follow along in conversation. In situations where I am forced into a group, I know how to just sit quietly with myself because my neighbors are engaged in conversation with others.

Trust me, I know that I am 50% the guilty party for not exerting myself more. I can be the one to start a conversation; it’s not the other person’s job to do so. But I think that the Swede should really take notice of how they present themselves (or the lack thereof). Some have asked me, “But aren’t you Americans being fake when you make small talk with strangers on the street?” I answer definitively, NO. It’s really OK to mention what nice weather we’re having today or to ask how long they’ve been waiting here at the bus stop.

When the Swedeheart and I were cruising in the Mediterranean with a boatful of elderly British folks, it took him a few days to shake of his feeling of unease with every other person greeting him with a “Good day!” But after that, he really came to enjoy it. How nice to be polite to others and receive kindness in return!

In the end I say this. To anyone who comes across someone new, whether it be an immigrant or a new person in your class or workplace, or a new neighbor: Ask them questions! There’s no better way to get to know someone and make them feel comfortable than to give them the chance to talk about the one thing they know most about: themselves. Ask and listen. And then ask and listen again the next day. Save the silence for the dentist’s chair.

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However, Skatteverket (Sweden’s IRS) tries really hard to make tax time fun and easy (is that even possible?). I first realized this when I opened my tax info packet that came in the mail. It was hard not to notice the instruction booklet which is printed on sunny yellow paper, has a picture of a daisy, and makes use of friendly-looking fonts. [image 1] Just compare the difference against the 1040 instructions. [image 2] Yikes!

It gets better on the inside pages. Set against a lighter version of the yellow cover are instructions in black text but which are set off with lovely red and blue headers. Skatteverket is even so bold as to use clip art to keep that smile on your face. Yes, you can declare electronically and get your refund before Midsommar! [image 3] Filing taxes is so easy, even an infant can do it! [image 4]

The IRS could take some tips from Skatteverket. For one, my salary total for 2011 was already printed onto my declaration form. There is no need to keep track of any W-2s that have come in the mail, because there aren’t any. (For Swedish readers, rather than just reporting each employee’s income directly to the government, the employer must also fill out and send to each employee a Form W-2 which states the income and taxes withheld. The employee must then fill that information in on the tax return and also send in the form with the return. Wow, explaining this makes me realize how redundant this system is.) Skatteverket automatically fills in any other totals that they have information on. Obviously, the Swedish government is smart at making it easy to collect your money.

As you perhaps deduced from the booklet’s cover, Skatteverket is celebrating its 10th year of electronic declaration. [image 5] Of course, we Americans can also file electronically, but your only choice is via a website. Here in Sweden, you can of course file with paper or online. But get this, Skatteverket has its own smartphone app that you can use [image 6], or you can even file via SMS — text your taxes!

Me, I chose the web because I was too lazy to download the app, and SMSing seemed just too easy. Taxes are supposed to be hard! My theory failed however; this is the first time that filing taxes has taken me five minutes.

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In addition, if you walk around the neighborhood, you’ll soon come across a small bush or tree, still bare of leaves, decorated with feathers of different colors. It’s very cute and a nice welcome to Spring. Some stores and restaurants will even have a nice display in their windows.

Easter also means a nice, long holiday for Swedes. Yes, like many other religious holidays in this mostly non-religious country, people in the Swedish working force get more vacation during these times than in America. Thank you, Sweden!

If you look at a calendar here, the color red is your friend. A red day (röd dag) is the term used to denote weekends or holidays which are usually marked in red text on the calendar. For Easter, Långfredag – literally “Long Friday” or as the English-speaking world knows it, Good Friday — is a national holiday. Annandag påsk – “Second day Easter” or Easter Monday — is also a red day. Just like in the U.S, you can expect banks to be closed and mail not to be delivered.

But wait, it doesn’t stop there! It is also common for many work places to have partial hours on Skärtorsdagen (Maundy Thursday) to help lengthen an already generous holiday. On these days, employees are not actually given a few extra free holiday hours but instead close office early with the expectation that they will work those extra hours on another day. My office is closing two hours early on Maundy Thursday and you won’t find me back in there until the following Tuesday!

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In the meantime, the cast did make a visit with me and the Swedeheart to Scotland for a five-day trip. I’m slowly getting back into posting shots from that vacation on my photo blog. And today included a run in the spring weather with no need to aim a blow dryer into my cast to reduce the sweat afterward.

And while we’re on the subject of bones, I have been noticing the trend of skull images on female clothing here on Sweden. Is this “sweeping” the U.S. too? I have no idea how some designer that a skull was in any way feminine or cute, but it just plain freaks me out to see a perfectly good pink shirt gone graveyard. Someone suggested that it maybe gave an air of toughness. I’d say more like Halloween or death and rotting. Personally not a fan. But who knows, I did grow to love tapered pants!

*Hat tip to Portlandia’s “Put a Bird On It!”

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Well, the Swedish word for vacation is semester. And this is one word that is measuring my further progression of integration into this society and its language. When I speak English with my Swedeheart at home, I now say without flinching, “Where should we take a semester this summer?” The word no longer conjures up the idea of school.

Another realization of my adaptation came to me last week while I was walking in the middle of a street. Nope, not on the sidewalk but where the Volvos and SAABs drive. When I first came to Sweden and we would go on walks, I would find myself in the road. But then I would ask, “Um, shouldn’t we be on the sidewalk?” and I would drag us toward the curb.

Swedes love to be outdoors, even when it’s dark and cold, and they especially love to go for walks. Of course they won’t walk in the big streets in the middle of a city because there are sidewalks aplenty, but it’s easy to find nice areas of towns without sidewalks, where cars make way for the pedestrians taking a stroll. So now I have joined the ranks and don’t think twice about someone running me over. Even on the street it would be un-Swedish to encroach on someone else’s personal bubble.

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We are in Sälen with friends for a week of skiing, just like last year, but the Swedeheart and I had decided months ago that we would both learn to snowboard this time around. So yesterday, we rented our equipment, bought our ski passes, and headed to the bunny slope. After about two hours of learning the basics, it was time for a late-afternoon lunch. As I made my way down the hill toward the lodge, I lost control and crashed backward, instinctively sticking out my hands to catch my fall. Immediately I had pain in my wrist and called out to my Swede for help.

Forty-five minutes later, after having the resident doctor inspect me and stabilize my arm, we were at the local Sälen clinic. We took a number from the queue machine and were called forward a minute later. The receptionist registered me for an x-ray and I paid the 150kr (approx. $25) check-in fee before sitting down again. As we waited for my name to be called, we watched as others with snowboarding boots and wrapped arms came in.

After a painful 2.5-hour wait, I was finally called back. My arm was unwrapped and two x-rays were taken. Shortly thereafter, I was taken into a room where I could see plaster remains. There I was told that I had fractured my radius and that I was about to receive my first-ever cast (for a first-ever broken bone). The local anesthetic administered to my arm was a wonderful relief and the rest of the process went smoothly.

My prescription for pain relievers was electronically submitted to the nationalized system for fetching at any drug store and I was sent on my way. No bill, no invoice to come in the mail. Just the $25. Of course I will pay up the nose in taxes like all Swedes do, but if it makes healthcare this straightforward, I’m really ok with that! And if my body decides to give in again, I hope it happens in Sweden.

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So how ’bout that about Super Bowl? I nearly forgot it was happening. But when I was reminded by a friend who going to make brats for the game, I started craving all of those delicious, bad-for-you foods found at Super Bowl parties that I haven’t had for so long: smokies (those tiny weiners eaten with toothpicks from a Crock Pot), chips and salsa, potato chips, Doritos, brownies.

Many ask me what I miss from the U.S., but it’s hard to answer until I’m actually in need of or reminded of something. Sweden is far from a wasteland, but there are a number of everyday foods and items that are either hard to find, very expensive to buy, or simply don’t exist here. Here’s a list:

• dryer sheets – not used by Swedes.
• Ziploc bags – you can find ‘em but they’re not so commonly used.
• marshmallows – Yes, Sweden has plenty of marshmallows, but don’t look in the baking section; you’ll find them in the candy area.
• Hershey’s Kisses – haven’t seen them.
• endless choices of bacon – I remember how ridiculous I used to think the bacon sections in the grocery stores were: original, thick, center cut, low sodium, mesquite, maple, applewood smoked, microwave ready, sweet and smokey. I don’t even know what half of those mean. In Sweden, you can expect to find plain ol’ bacon packaged in measly-thin slices. Oh how I miss the variety in all of its absurdity.
• candy corn – definitely not available, but of course Sweden has the bean variety.
• slow cookers – as of recent, one company has begun selling them; for three times the price as what one costs in the U.S. We recently bought one via the ever-cheaper Amazon UK.
• pepperoni pizza – yes, you can buy the sausage slices at the store, but unless you go to one of the very few Pizza Huts in this country, it’s impossible to find a pizza place that has pepperoni on its menu.
• Pam spray – how has this not been introduced here? Sweden’s version is melted butter in a plastic squeeze bottle that is stored in the fridge; very handy instead of having to cut off a chunk of butter. For the Swedish readers, Pam is a cooking oil that is dispensed from a spray can. So perfect for coating baking pans!
• root beer – I am not a regular consumer of the stuff, but it would still be nice for it to be available.
• chipotles in adobo sauce – I had to go to a specialty “spicy” store to find this ingredient.
• vanilla extract – not a common ingredient. Swedes use vaniljsocker  (vanilla sugar), but I haven’t attempted using it given that I have no clue how it equates to extract.
• granola bars – I’ve never deliberately looked, but I’ve never seen them here either. Given that I fika twice a day and spend time on public transportation, I wouldn’t mind having a stash of these as a back-up snack. And with my running schedule, I really miss Clif Bars!
• SmartWool socks – They exist here, but at nearly $40 a pair, I’ve refrained from adding to my sock drawer collection.

At least Sweden has now officially opened its second Starbucks, and it’s right here in Gothenburg!

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And the winter sales are also still going strong. Ryanair recently had its winter sale with hopes to boost revenue during what is a post-holiday travel slump. The specials from Gothenburg started at 93SEK ($14) one way which to us was worth considering. The four cheapest destinations included Brussels, Edinburgh, Paris’ Beauvais airport (situated an hour north of the city), and Kaunas in Lithuania. Restrictions included having to complete travel by the end of March.

We know nothing of Lithuania, so we crossed that off the list first. If Beauvais had been conveniently closer and cheaper to travel to/from, Paris would have absolutely won. But it came down to the first two. In the end, Edinburgh won out so we’ll be making our debut in Scotland in mid-March. I look forward to an English break on my ears, assuming that we can understand the thick, rolling accent.

Although we are quite pleased that the total cost came to about $150, I have to put in my one complaint about Ryanair. If you are unfamiliar with the company, they keep their base prices low because they charge à la carte for everything else: seat reservation, carry-ons, priority seating, insurance, drinks, food, standard-sized luggage. They even sell lottery tickets on board. If you travel light, then you can keep your costs low. Which we did, until we got to the final reservation page, the page for payment. We were presented with a $35 fee for using a credit card, the only method for payment. Unless you have a pre-paid MasterCard, which we (and most people) don’t. So if you ever plan to travel with Ryanair, consider signing up for the card.

But between now and Edinburgh, we’ve also got our second annual skiing trip in Sälen to look forward to. The Swedeheart and I have both decided to try snowboarding, which means we plan to spend a lot of time on our butts. And in November, we look forward to our first trip back to the U.S. since my move. Christmas in Sweden is just too cozy to give up, so Thanksgiving will deliciously welcome us instead.

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During this time, I have thought much about my journey through the Swedish language. I am very pleased with my progress in just one year’s time. It feels really good when people who last met me a year ago comment on how impressed they are that I’m now speaking with them in Swedish. I’ve put in a lot of hard work, patience, and tears, and I’m slowly realizing my life-long dream of becoming bilingual.

But now I have reached a point where I have a deep longing to be part of the conversation. One-on-one chats are pretty simple, but group situations, where the conversation moves quickly, are entirely different. It takes my brain just long enough to process what I’ve heard and then formulate something to say, but by then everyone is on another subject. This means that I spend a lot of time being quiet, and sometimes I have feelings of isolation or of being invisible.

I’m not extremely outgoing but I am social. It’s tough thinking that Swedes have a completely different view of who I am based upon the fact that I don’t talk. Inside I’m screaming, “I’m really not this shy and quiet! If only you knew me!” But will people here ever really get to know me?

It’s hard to explain exactly what my level of comprehension is. Usually, I can pick out keywords that tell me yes, we are still talking about such-and-such. And I can understand most of what is said. BUT, if someon asked me to quote them back but in English, it would be nearly impossible. For example, a discussion about training for a marathon: I could never repeat phrases or sentences, but I would know that I heard the words running, shoes, exercise, gym, reflective vest (it’s dark here after all), energy, and tired. It’s a strange phenomenon to only “get the feel” for a conversation.

Over Christmas, I realized that maybe I was being too hard on myself. Of course I need to practice listening and speaking if I want to get better, but maybe it’s not optimal to be thinking in Swedish 24/7. The brain needs a rest, and maybe it’s counterproductive to express some of my more complex thoughts in Swedish. So I’ve given myself permission to speak English once in awhile.

As with all bumps in the road, I will soon leave this one behind. And when I am fluent, I will talk everyone’s ears off!

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